ANOVA Man
 
Words:  Mark Glickman
 
Music:  Lennon/McCartney ("Nowhere Man")

He's a real ANOVA man 
Designing all his sampling plans 
Calculating mean-squared errors and p-values.

Wants to test for equal mu's
Knows which tables he must use
All his samples he will choose at random.

ANOVA man, please listen;
Where's the data that you're missing?
ANOVA man, what kinds of bias can you withstand?

Writes down two hypotheses;
Hopes to reject the first of these;
Needs to list out all degrees of freedom.

ANOVA man, try harder;
Don't give up, you're smarter;
ANOVA man, how come your students don't understand?

At 0.05 he rejects
Ignores the size of his effects
Now he's stuck -- he's got selection bias!

ANOVA man, please listen;
Where's the data that you're missing?
ANOVA man, what kinds of bias can you withstand?

He's a real ANOVA man 
Designing all his sampling plans 
Calculating mean-squared errors and p-values.